Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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