My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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