dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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