we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize