that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
