Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
