Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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