I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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