and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
