no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
