adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I have grass duct taped all over my body
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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