remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
i believe in u and ur pee
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
