worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I want her autograph on my taint
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
