You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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