just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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