Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
