i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
