I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
