The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
