are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
