I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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