Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
