Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Just pee around me
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
