Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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