i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
