"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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