somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
