It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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