i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
