Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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