I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
