Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
