cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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