She said her name was "party"
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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