wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
