i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Enjoy the penises
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
