remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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