Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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