It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
