I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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