Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
