There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
