I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
