Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
