I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
