i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
