u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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