I just saw a hot homeless man
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
