Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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