White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
